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With holiday celebrations quickly approaching, with its many joys and demands, many people find themselves considering their boundaries around their time, energy, conversations, and social interactions.

Drawing boundaries is often complicated by the protests of those who feel affronted by limits. Someone trying to set a boundary around conversations might hear something like: “Why are you so secretive?” “Family don’t keep secrets.” “Can we even be friends if we can’t be open with each other?” 

It is a common misconception that privacy equals secrecy. However, privacy is in fact part of a healthy relationship. It is the line between “where you stop and I start.” It is based in healthy boundaries and balance – the right to know and manage oneself. It ultimately enhances connection. Secrecy, on the other hand, is based in shame and the fear that being known will hurt or destroy connection.

Click here to learn more and connect with Carmen Okhmatovski, Individual and Relational Therapist.